


that personal cr*p employers ask

by ang_the_adverse



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Queer Character, queerfest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 13:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3211610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ang_the_adverse/pseuds/ang_the_adverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well, m-m-my favourite thing about myself is probably that I’m-m-ma queer.”</p><p>From a prompt from Queerfest: Any fandom, any character: Being queer is their favourite thing about who they are. (Turns out, this is not the kind of answer you are supposed to give in a job interview.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	that personal cr*p employers ask

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't initially post this because it didn't hit the minimum wordcount for queerfest, but I really like it so I'm sticking it up.

“Ok, I suppose that’s all fine,” Stan said, rubbing two fingers over his temple.

“Dude, we have to ask some of that personal crap employers ask,” Kyle pointed out.

Stan groaned and made eye contact with Butters across Kyle’s dining table.

“Fine. Uhhh, Butters, what is your favourite thing about yourself?”

“Oh,” said Butters, and rubbed his knuckles together, looking at his thumbs.

Stan knocked his head back, knowing that Kyle would now make them all sit there for another half hour topping up Butters’ ever diminishing self-esteem.

But to his surprise, Butters’ eyes suddenly lit up with an answer. Stan leant forward in anticipation.

“Well, m-m-my favourite thing about myself is probably that I’m-m-ma queer.”

Stan’s hope diminished and he face planted into the table. When Kyle had come with the mission of getting Butters a job he’d thought it’d be easy. Butters was smart and polite and kind, but it turned out that all the businesses in South Park had decided what they really needed to be was ruthless, and were only employing people who could pull off a hard sell and refuse to give returns. Cartman and Wendy both had commission-based jobs which were making them almost independent, even though they were all only eighteen.

“Butters you can’t say that,” Kyle said, doing far better at Stan at pressing down his irritation.

Kenny’s muffled voice joined the conversation.

Kenny so far hadn’t been visibly annoyed, but then again Kenny was always happy with what Butters had to say, ever since they got married in Hawaii (Kenny insisted that they weren’t married, but Kyle insisted that the ceremony Kenny had described didn’t exist in native Hawaiian culture, and also if they were always drinking vodka why should their memories be reliable anyway).

“Fine, I suppose Kenny’s right,” Kyle said. “Why is being queer your favorite thing about yourself Butters?”

Stan groaned into the table.

“W-w-well, I made a lot of friends because of it, I’d never have talked to folks like Henrietta, or Al, or Mr Slave, or Bradley, or Filmore if I wasn’t, and they’re all really nice. And since I went through the acceptance of myself and all my ways Cartman can’t think of nothing to say to me no more. An’ he still rips on you two, and you ain’t said you’re queer. I could help your self-acceptance if you like. I still have the pamphlets. An’ also, I know God is bi-curious, and I like being like God, ‘cause that’s what Father Maxi said we should all try to be.”

Something muffled came through Kenny’s parka, and Kenny clapped a little.

“Why, thanks, Ken,” Butters said.

Kyle and Stan looked at one another. 

“I mean, I suppose . . .” Kyle started.

“Still isn’t gonna get him a job though.”

Kenny said something angry.

Kyle snorted. “Kenny’s right, you’re just pissed because normally you get to do the moralistic summing up.”

“Aw, Stan, I didn’t meant to . . . Maybe we could talk about something else quickly so you can have a turn as well?”

“No, it’s too late.”

Kenny’s voice sounded.

“Yeah, exactly,” Kyle said, “Cartman hasn’t even been in this one.”

Stan groaned again.


End file.
